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In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained though our program of SPECIAL HIGH TENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel you are not receiving your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will immediately be placed on the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and they are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

If you have any other question, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING, (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.) thank you.

BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSISTY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)