Politics explained with two cow analogy
If you want to be notified the next time I write something, sign up for FREE email alerts or subscribe to the RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Maybe you got this by email sometime as I got it, but anyway, while cleaning the spam now I found this interesting piece. Interesting enough to share with others, so here it is:
Politics explained with two cow analogy:
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. (Original source unknown)
Ok, but this legend is missing something called ZIONISM, so here is my addition:
ZIONISM: You have two cows. Israel steals them and shoots you. Your son comes and returns back one cow; Israel shoots him and steals the cow. Your son’s son comes and returns back one cow, Israel shoots your son’s son and steals the cow. Your son’s son’s son comes and takes back one cow; Israel shoots him and steals the cow. Your son’s son’s son’s son comes and returns a cow; Israel shoots your son’s son’s son’s son and steals the cow. And the story goes on…
So, who likes to share more definitions? Say, Neoconism, Bushism, UNism, etc… Come’n share yours 
[Image credit: Carlos Latuff]
Enjoy this post? Get future updates sent to you for free! Join by 
10 Comments on “Politics explained with two cow analogy”
Arab Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government arrests and tortures one of the cows on suspicion of being Al-Qaeda bovine. Gives the other cow a good government position to buy it off. And when you become cow-less, you bitch on Al-Jazeera’s call-in show Menbar Al-Baqar.
Bushism: Yous has two cows but more cows will be needed to win the war on terror in Ayraq.
Neo-cons: You have two cows. Neo-con think tanks call for liberating the oppressed cow, which now one seems able to identify, and herald teh coming of the New Barn. Once the oppressed cow is liberated, it’s BBQ’ed medium-rare and served with beer during a monumental celebration of the success of Operation Freedom and Democracy. The other cow left in the barn does not know what it all means but enjoys the taste of medium-rare BBQ.
Good one, I like it
Any governmental system.
You have two cows. Either you have to give one up to them to be eaten by them and their friends or you will be taxed to death till you sell one to pay the taxes and you give the other one to them!
Neoconism: You have two cows, one, like Henny Penny says, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling” The other one says, “Give me everything you’ve got, or when you drink my milk, you’re going to die of mad-cow disease”
Bushism: You have two cows down on the ranch in Crawford, one, like the ranch owner, is rather dull, the other, gets the local judge to install him as the mayor.
UNism: You have two cows, one is a member of the governing board of cows, the other, who says it’s that cows’ friend, chews off all the other cows’ legs until the first cow doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
so much bad things can be said about politics.
in gaza we can all see the impact of politics. sometimes its not all that good for the citizen, like the hamas government….
(if you are interested in seeing my point of view- check my blog)
almanarasquare.blogspot.com
asad al nimr,
ramallah.
As for Zionism: See here how they overtly say they rule the world, they conspire to enslave us and make a mockery of us all:
http://www.classless.org/2007/01/07/rav-shmuel-rules-the-world/
(Attention, link to a pro-Zionist blog! Mind your head…)
It’s an outrage!
Zionists: we have two cows and they need land to graze. Take more land.
The Palestinians aren’t using it anyways!
Palestinians aren’t using it because Zionist killed the Palestinians and stole their cows!
Mafiaism: You have two cows. You sell one to your neighbor, then steal it back.
UNism: You have two cows, a different country’s government tells you what to feed them, where to keep them, how to slaughter them, then they tell you that you cannot eat the meat, because you have to contribute to the wellbeing of the Union, but the meat can’t be exported either, and you have to buy the meat of a stronger Union member.