Mantiq al-Tayr

Jesus and the Cherry Tree

by Mantiq al-Tayr December 18, 2011

The new-born Jesus then closes: “And peace be upon me the day I was born, the day that I die, and the day that I am raised up alive.”

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Who Hates Our Freedoms? Part I [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr December 12, 2011

A little birdie told me to start with the US Senate. It seems that there is some brouhahahahahaha going on about new legislation that might allow the military to arrest American citizens and put them in detention forever with no habeas corpus. The entire patriot-minded internet has written about it, so if this is a first for you then you have got to be a Shas Party member, but I digress. The US military could become the only nuclear police force on earth. Who on earth would come up with an idea as anti-American as that? Israel.

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Is Herman Cain A Zionist Sock Puppet? [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr November 13, 2011

While in Israel, Cain also said “This may get me in trouble, but I do not care,” he said. “I think the Israeli people is (sic) more interested in peace than the Palestinians. Look at history and the fact that you’re getting bombed on the southern border. It is clear to me that Israel is more interested in peace than those seeking to deny the peace process.”

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Rep. Erik Paulsen Meets Israeli War Criminal [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr August 30, 2011

Minnesota House member Erik Paulsen (Likud) continues his hasbara work on behalf of the State of Israel doing so via the funding of the AIEF which is a US tax-deductible arm of AIPAC.

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Their Blood Is Not Just On Breivik’s Hands [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr July 25, 2011

As is usually the case all of the experts on terrorism and all the Islam-hating bigots were wrong. Sometimes I am not even sure which group is the more loathsome and of course there is considerable overlap between the two.

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Message to Congress: Take a Slow Boat to Gaza [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr June 26, 2011

The “Department of State” strongly urges that U.S. citizens refrain from all travel to the Gaza Strip, an area living under such breathtakingly awful conditions thanks to Israel that even Hitler would have objected. But we digress. We also recommend that all US citizens refrain from traveling to Israel ever again and that they actively participate in the boycott campaign against Israel known as the BDS.

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Yahweh Good Allah Bad [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr March 28, 2011

This brief is based on Maj. Jason Orlich’s Extensive Research, Islamic texts, history, and lessons learned at JTF Guantanamo. “Yahweh is Good, Allah is Bad”.

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Manufacturing the Muslim Menace [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr March 20, 2011

Anti-Muslim Bigotry – in the United States is getting out of hand. Our country is sick and we need to understand the source of this sickness and do something about it. Islamphobia is being actively supported by local, state and federal governments and law enforcement. Anti-Muslim hatemongers routinely train local, state and federal officials to hate Islam and Muslims and it looks like they get good money for it. I tell you, I am in the wrong business, but I digress.

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Support Your Own Illegal Israeli Settlement [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr February 26, 2011

Our inaugural voyage into the realm of illegal Israeli settlements is the lovely (and did I mention illegal?) town of Ariel, which lies not far from Nablus and which the Jewish Virtual Liebrary has the chutzpahpahpah to call “the capital of Samaria.”

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Kill a Palestinian and You Shall Enter Heaven [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr February 21, 2011

The message is so plain and simple that even Shas Party members can understand it. Obama works for the Jews. The NJDC’s statement shows how happy the Jews are with this.

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The Egyptian People Deserve the Nobel Peace Prize [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr February 15, 2011

The Egyptian people deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. To be more accurate, the Nobel Peace Prize is not good enough for the Egyptian people, but still it would be a great gesture and would make lots of Arab regimes even more uneasy than they are now. Fortunately for them, most likely rich white men will not want to bestow it upon that incredible people, but you can sign the petition.

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Mubarak Calls on Obama To Step Down as President [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr February 7, 2011

In a breathtaking move to seize the initiative in Cairo, Egyptian President Mohamed Hosni Mubarak appeared on the podium in Tahrir Square today and addressed not only the Egyptian people but also the entire world.

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Egyptian Army Pledges Not to Resort to Violence [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr February 1, 2011

We’ll see how this plays out. Let’s hope the army keeps its promise and does not renege. There is a bit of a loop-hole here as al-Jazeera reported: [The military] urged people not to resort to acts of sabotage that violate security and destroy public and private property. It warned that it would not allow outlaws to loot, attack and “terrorise citizens”.

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Free Jonathan Pollard [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr January 7, 2011

They are afraid to ask for anything more than clemency for Pollard. Hell, everyone in this country has known since they were tall enough to kiss Frank’s ass without having to stand on a stool that over 90 % of the members of the House and Senate would line up single file in a snowstorm outside of the Israeli embassy in Washington to give Israeli Ambassador Michael Oren a blow job if they were ordered to do so by Israel, so what’s this crap about just asking for clemency? And only 39 congressmen have signed the thing up until now! Oh my Allah, what has this world come to?

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Tis the Season for Treason [Satire]

by Mantiq al-Tayr December 15, 2010

I’m just doing what it says on the Big Brother signs that are on our highways that say something like “If you see someone who looks like a Muslim please call 666-666-ARAB” or something like that. Or maybe it just says to call if you see something suspicious – but maybe especially if it is a Muslim. Something like that anyway.

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